Considering it’s a world of extreme music made by even more extreme characters, it’s not too hard for people to find the humor in heavy metal.
Indeed, ever since Spinal Tap started singing about big bottoms with zucchinis stuffed in their trousers, we’ve been faced with countless hard-rock humorists trying to up the ante by getting you to bust a gut and headbang and the same time — whether lampooning Eighties glam metal, becoming brutal admen, or spiking rap-metal kookiness with hardcore zingers. So, we naturally asked you who delivered the funniest comedy-metal anthem of them all.
To be clear, a bunch of you clowns started roasting classic metal misfires in the comments this week. We hear you — hell, we may even agree with you, in some cases — but we still reckon those joke votes are punching down just a little too hard. So, we kept this poll limited to those standouts with intentionally-crafted punchlines.
These were your top five picks, ranked accordingly.
Dethklok – “Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle”
“Do you folks like coffee?”
Honestly, we could have filled this whole poll with banger after banger of Dethklok’s patented absurdist death metal. But even after all these years, there may be no finer blend of comedy and brutality than the “Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle” from the debut episode of Metalocalypse.
Here’s the thing: While 20 years ago we laughed out asses off at the concept of Dethklok serving up disgusting pinch squeals and mercenary double kicks beneath Nathan Explosion’s guttural praise for the “ultimate flavor,” we now live in a world where extremists like Lamb of God, Cannibal Corpse and Imminence are serving up bold signature cups.
In other words, “Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle” is funny because it’s true.
Steel Panther – “Death to All but Metal”
Though glam metal’s spandex-stretching, poodle-haired visual aesthetic is ripe for parody, a bigger part of the joke with Steel Panther may be that their satirically shock-forward songbook is only just slightly pushing the Sunset Strip sound to comedic extremes. And, indeed, the specter of truth and rock & roll history lingers behind every grossly over-the-top anthem like “Eatin’ Ain’t Cheatin’” and “Stripper Girl.”
While this week we got a bunch of people trying to vote in the whole damn Panther catalog, Revolver readers do seem to gravitate towards the sophomorically crude “Death to All But Metal,” an aggressively offensive diss track putting over metal while simultaneously putting Britney Spears, the Goo Goo Dolls and Blink-182 in their crosshairs.
Anthrax – “I’m the Man”
Some said that rap and metal could never mix. Well, all of them can suck Anthrax’s…
Dickensian wit is not the name of the game in Anthrax’s 1987 rap-metal novelty hit. Rather, Scott Ian, Charlie Benante and Frank Bello wild out with frat-rap finesse, spittin’ knowledge about the farts that they fart over an old-school-simple beat, Sam Kinison samples and guitarist Danny Spitz’ thrash-ified “Hava Nagila” lift.
If “I’m the Man” sounds like a playful Beastie Boys bite, there’s a good reason for that — Benante confirmed to Revolver that Mike D, MCA and the King Ad-Rock were meant to throw down some bars, originally, but scheduling conflicts ultimately turned Anthrax’s members into MCs.
The irreverent mic check led towards more straight-faced rap-metal explorations, like their “Bring the Noise” collab with Public Enemy, and a cover of the Beasties’ “Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun.”
Green Jellÿ – “Three Little Pigs”
Green Jellÿ’s 1993 comedy-metal cult classic Cereal Killer introduced us to a cast of guffaw-worthy characters — from the mighty Cowgod, to that rascally high-screeching Rock-N-Roll Pumpkihn, to the poo-shoed Shitman. All pale, however, compared to the porcine trio at the heart of the record’s breakout hit, “Three Little Pigs.”
The subversive, caveman-riffed rap-metal goof reimagined the pigs as a mix of ganja-blazing burnouts and Harvard-schooled architects, while the wolf rolls up as a Harley-riding predator on the prowl. Taking liberties from the OG fable, Rambo shoots up the joint by song’s end.
While Green Jellÿ’s Bill Manspeaker steers the narrative, TOOL’s Maynard James Keenan guest-shots in the song as the helium-voiced piggies — Danny Carey slams the cans on here, too.
Tenacious D – “Master Exploder”
Though they be but men, Tenacious D’s Jack Black and Kyle Gass possess the uncanny ability to make fans buckle over in laughter while simultaneously getting them to raise their horns high.
They’ve done so while paying tribute to “the best song in the world,” and while pledging eternal allegiance to “The Metal.” We like them so much that we even let them, you know… fuck our ears gently, from time to time. But the song that really blows our readers’ minds is Pick of Destiny highlight “Master Exploder.”
Like the greatest comedy bits, it’s simple in its execution. Black cues up a corker of an acoustic-rock riff, while Gass rips hellfire on his shred-stick. Like the bastard child of Rob Halford and a bald eagle that just got kicked in the junk, Black comically rocket-ships his voice into a god-tier falsetto screech. Both chuckle-inducing and awe-inspiring, it’s a merry metal moment that proves Black’s voice is fucking powerful.